Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Thursday, June 02, 2005

To: desperate job seekers interested in careers in communications and media.

From: Pants Dispenser Operator
Subject: Available: Shitty job with fun people (except your boss)

Benefits: meager compensation package. Hourly wage will approach zero as you spend more time in the office. If we could pay you less, we would.

Work environment: distasteful (understatement)

Number of expected traumatic experiences: please do not ask me, because I don’t know how to write scientific notation in a blog.

Health benefits: actually, these are pretty good.

Responsibilities: everything. No seriously- all that goes wrong will be your fault. Even stuff that your predecessor failed to do or did poorly. Copy machine fixing, fax machine debugging, your boss’s wife’s laptop.

Monikers you will inevitably earn: walking information hemorrhage / bottleneck / research assistant / roadblock


At 9:42 PM, Anonymous Other said...

fester fester fester fester... rot rot rot.


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