Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Pants Dispenser actually dispensed Pants at Homecoming

Homecoming 2005 By the numbers:

Number of fall pledges: 1
Number of times said pledge showed up at the house with no pants: 1
Number of pairs of pants lent to said pledge at 3:30am Friday night by
yours truly: 1 (note: my blog is, though it
is named for an old David Letterman bit)
Number of brothers threatened with legal action by yours truly for
failing to come to said pledge's aid: 1
Number of times DLS asked our one pledge to stop speaking Spanish: 1
(and loudly!)
Number of pledges at homecoming dinner: 0 (whathefuck?)
Number of wicker tiki hats incinerated by JEC: 2
Number of charcoal briquettes used at homecomiung tailgate by actives: 0
Number of bags of charcoal found on the smoking porch after tailgate: 2
Number of logs used in the weber: 3 or so small ones
Number of hand saws used to flip burgers at homecoming tailgate: 1
Number of minutes of hail Saturday afternoon: approx. 2
Number of hours most of us were drunk Saturday: 14
Number of porn videos watched: 2
Number of times Jock Wilson passed out before 10pm only to reawaken and drink
more: 2
Number of brothers named Jock Wilson not on the lineage tree: 1
Number of punches thrown by brothers at other brothers: too
many. for the love of God, please stop this game. (see
what webMD has to say)
Number of passive aggressive pseudo-prayers by TPL to open
Sunday corporation meeting:1
Number of pages of LAST FUCKING YEAR'S corporation meeting minutes
available for review and approval: FUCKING 0.
Number of proxy votes written on e-Brett's Ass: 1
Number of proxy votes written on a pizza box: 2
Number of places found to be "lacking privacy" MN tried before
deciding to sleep FUCKING OUTSIDE: like, four or something. (or is that
Number of positive or indeed brotherly words spoken to SB '72 the
whole weekend: 0
Number of Slip 'n Slides still on the hill behind the house: FUCKING
Number of mattresses still on the hill: take a wild guess
Number of pitchers or shots I was able to buy at Dunbars in 15 minutes:

This was one of the best homecoming weekends in years. We laughed, we
cried, and Cornell beat Georgetown by a million points. Hoo-rah.


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