Pants Dispenser actually dispensed Pants at Homecoming

Homecoming 2005 By the numbers:

Number of fall pledges: 1
Number of times said pledge showed up at the house with no pants: 1
Number of pairs of pants lent to said pledge at 3:30am Friday night by
yours truly: 1 (note: my blog is pantsdispenser.blogspot.com, though it
is named for an old David Letterman bit)
Number of brothers threatened with legal action by yours truly for
failing to come to said pledge's aid: 1
Number of times DLS asked our one pledge to stop speaking Spanish: 1
(and loudly!)
Number of pledges at homecoming dinner: 0 (whathefuck?)
Number of wicker tiki hats incinerated by JEC: 2
Number of charcoal briquettes used at homecomiung tailgate by actives: 0
Number of bags of charcoal found on the smoking porch after tailgate: 2
Number of logs used in the weber: 3 or so small ones
Number of hand saws used to flip burgers at homecoming tailgate: 1
Number of minutes of hail Saturday afternoon: approx. 2
Number of hours most of us were drunk Saturday: 14
Number of porn videos watched: 2
Number of times Jock Wilson passed out before 10pm only to reawaken and drink
more: 2
Number of brothers named Jock Wilson not on the lineage tree: 1
Number of punches thrown by brothers at other brothers: too
many. for the love of God, please stop this game. (see
what webMD has to say)
Number of passive aggressive pseudo-prayers by TPL to open
Sunday corporation meeting:1
Number of pages of LAST FUCKING YEAR'S corporation meeting minutes
available for review and approval: FUCKING 0.
Number of proxy votes written on e-Brett's Ass: 1
Number of proxy votes written on a pizza box: 2
Number of places found to be "lacking privacy" MN tried before
deciding to sleep FUCKING OUTSIDE: like, four or something. (or is that
FUCK OUTSIDE AND SLEEP?)
Number of positive or indeed brotherly words spoken to SB '72 the
whole weekend: 0
Number of Slip 'n Slides still on the hill behind the house: FUCKING
FOUR!
Number of mattresses still on the hill: take a wild guess
Number of pitchers or shots I was able to buy at Dunbars in 15 minutes:
Zero.


This was one of the best homecoming weekends in years. We laughed, we
cried, and Cornell beat Georgetown by a million points. Hoo-rah.