Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Friday Night by the Numbers (or...this one goes to eleven)

Number of free shots of Chivas 12 yr at local liquor store: 5
Number of mL of J&B purchased: 1,000
Number of different fireworks launch positions observed: 3
Number of firecracker explosions heard: lost count at 56
Number of visits to Grandpa's Pizza before midnight: 1
Number of pizza places called at 1:00 am to get pizza delivered: 3, I think
Number of pizza places which hung up on us immediately: 2
Number of pizza places that hung up on us after we claimed we had ordered a pizza which never arrived: 1
Number of minutes we spent banging on the door of closed pizza place: at least 20
Number of minutes for cops to arrive: see above
Number of people the cops definitely didn't have time to deal with who were banging on the door of a pizza place at 2:00am: 2
Number of bars explored after "hitting" the pizza place: 2
Number of pint glasses purloined from bar: 1
Number of nasty (potentially prostitute) skanks MH tried to go off with from bar #2: 1
Number of minutes spent persuading MH of how bad an idea this would be: 5
Rank of next day's hangover, from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst: 11


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