Friday Night by the Numbers (or...this one goes to eleven)

Number of free shots of Chivas 12 yr at local liquor store: 5
Number of mL of J&B purchased: 1,000
Number of different fireworks launch positions observed: 3
Number of firecracker explosions heard: lost count at 56
Number of visits to Grandpa's Pizza before midnight: 1
Number of pizza places called at 1:00 am to get pizza delivered: 3, I think
Number of pizza places which hung up on us immediately: 2
Number of pizza places that hung up on us after we claimed we had ordered a pizza which never arrived: 1
Number of minutes we spent banging on the door of closed pizza place: at least 20
Number of minutes for cops to arrive: see above
Number of people the cops definitely didn't have time to deal with who were banging on the door of a pizza place at 2:00am: 2
Number of bars explored after "hitting" the pizza place: 2
Number of pint glasses purloined from bar: 1
Number of nasty (potentially prostitute) skanks MH tried to go off with from bar #2: 1
Number of minutes spent persuading MH of how bad an idea this would be: 5
Rank of next day's hangover, from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst: 11