Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Some Times you gotta Hold Em

Sometimes you just have to stick to your guns. Like, for instance, our annual reunion wknd in the north country. Someone suggested that we should use sheet plastic instead of buying 4-6 Slip'n'Slides (I for one kind of like going to the Kay-Bee Toys in the Manhattan Mall once a year).

I'm fine with that substitution. But then the TODAY Show features this segment (how I managed to not vomit on the TV each time Matt Lauer got smug, I'll never fucking know) about playground safety.

Apparently, all the yuppies this year are getting birch or cedar swing sets for the kiddies. If the swing set is hung from a beam above six feet high, watch out! Here's the quote: "We find that once you get above six feet, the accident rate doubles!" Fucking true. I stick to my 5'11" guns, man.

So, after the fucking garbage about whether to use rubber chips, bark, or good ol' fine sand, and you get the high horse patrol telling us why Slip'n'Slides are so evil.

I'll post a pic of how non-evil/totally fucking awesome they are. Especially when used by adults, and linked together (imagine two tracks of 4 slides end to end) down a steep slope in the middle of summer. If you just got very envious of me, I am not surprised. But back to ye olde high and mighty:

Lauer the Tool:We need to do this quickily, because we only have 30 seconds.
Safety Slut: OK first rule: no parents- you're liable to break something coming in at a bad angle and with that much weight. Rules for kids: Parents must be watching. One person at a time. No one goes head first.
Lauer the Tool: Even though they show a kid head first on the box? [see this]
Safety Slut: Yes.

And that was it. Personally, I trust Wham-O with my life. I have for two years now and it hasn't been a disappointment.


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