Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Why are we here? They plump when you cook em!

Question from Allison Hughes:Why are we here?

PDO:It's Tuesday.

AH: No, seriously, I need some TLC. Why are we here?
PDO: Do you like Hot Dogs?
AH: What? I'm serious!
PDO: So am I. Just answer the question. Do you like Hot Dogs?
AH: Yes.
PDO: Me, too. I like to be able to buy hot dogs. I need a job so I can buy hot dogs."

Post Script:

5 minutes later, from AH: PDO, I need to find another way to buy Hot Dogs!

Welcome to the first ever successful use of the hot dog as a metaphor.

Monday, November 28, 2005

car buying

does anyone really surprise a spouse with a car on Christmas? I mean, wouldn't this be kind of a monumental purchase? What if it just isn't the most fun to drive? Don't people spend hours and hours trying to buy a car together? Days, weeks? It seems rather flip to think that a man making a decision like that will make a woman happy? Even if it does have the world's largest bow on it?


Monday, November 21, 2005

My day according to my boss, as told by my boss

This morning PDO got up and was oblivious to how badly he screwed up last week. I will make him pay. I will smack his bottom if I have to. It's just after 8 am, and I'm in my office, thnking about how best to surprise PDO- because he thinks I'm in Montpelier, France. Ahh, my life is made more difficult by his every breath, why do I put up with his antics? I can't seem to figure him out.

Well, at least I got a chance to really yell at him. It sure made me feel better when I intimated that his incompetent management had made me so nervous that I cancelled a speaking engagement. That did hurt- I really wanted to orally fellate all those academics.

But why is it so glaringly obvious that PDO has no sense of urgency? Why does he not show me that he knows how urgently we need to complete this draft of this grant proposal? He seems calm, he relaxed and prepared to have a productive day, or does he just not care about my colossally important existence? The phone beckons...I must seek it out to vent my righteous rage. I am the best person in the entire world.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I just found 20,000 pesos

Seriously. I am not rich at all am I? I just found a 20,000 peso note that was printed in many times has the peso been revalued in that time? Let's find out shall we? Ok, so only once. But nevertheless sheds light on the matter. On November 15, this piece of currency was worth a staggering.... $US 1.87..[holy shit...what other number shit can we find from wikipedia? What does it say under 420?]....Many mistake April 20 as being the day Bob Marley, a famous rastafarian musician, died. The actual date he died is May 11 (ahem!).....In the movie Pulp Fiction, the clocks in the pawnshop are set to 4:20. (It is often erroneously claimed that all clocks in the film are.)......