Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Monday, January 30, 2006

Demonic Foods? Or potentially tasty vittles?

Plan 59 has an intersting site about scary mid-century advertisements featuring kids, especially those for food products.

Velveeta Golden Glory casserole is no exception. Kraft, in 1949 published the recipe for this treat.

I submit that this would be tasty and at the same time totally unhealthy
and very likely to give me the shits. Lactaid? Hmmmm.

So what is the implication here? I fucking love stuffed devilled eggs.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Been saying this for years

A recently completed study of the psychological processes involving political decision making point to an absence of logic, fact, or reality. (Emory University Professor and NPR commentator Drew Westin). The press release seems to be here but I'm trying to get my hands on a pre-publication copy of the scholarly work itself. Thank you, Emory University.

From the press release:

The study points to a total lack of reason in political decision-making.

"None of the circuits involved in conscious reasoning were particularly engaged," Westen said. "Essentially, it appears as if partisans twirl the cognitive kaleidoscope until they get the conclusions they want, and then they get massively reinforced for it, with the elimination of negative emotional states and activation of positive ones."

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Idiot Meat Theory of Relativity

Idiot: "Einstein's theory of relativity is really complicated, and it can be almost impossible to understand what it means."
Meat: "That's E=MC2, right? What does it mean?"
Idiot: "When you go really fast, time goes slower..."
Meat: "...Because you get there earlier!"
Idiot: "You're catching on, buddy!"
Meat: "Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
Meat: "..."
Meat: "..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

note found, date unknown, whilst cleaning my office

I rate my fear level as low. It could mean I'm experienced. It could also mean I am stupid.

Area woman found to have Gono-sypha-herpa-crabs

Hoboken, NJ (AP)- Area electronic mail direct-marketer and online dater Kendra Mackey was discovered to be a carrier of multiple sexually transmitted diseases, known collectively as the "Gono-sypha-herpa-crabs," and condemned by the court of pubic opinion to a life of servitude. Having contracted the diseases 18 months ago in a back-alley encounter with deadly hit man "The Ice Cream Man" (whose Mr. Softee truck is a well-known front for his kill-strategy of infecting vicitms with deadly sexually transmitted diseases) Ms. Mackey's exposure will surely end her streak of tryst advertisments. Her car has been impounded. Its New Jersey license plate, "JRZYTD" is believed to have stood for Jerzy Transmitted Disease.

Ms. Mackey could not be reached for comment. A spokesman for the Ice Cream Man read a short statement from Mr. Cream Man:
"Hell yes, I screwed that biotch. I think she got what was cumming to her. Er, in her. Er, never mind. Thank you. Go Steelers!"

In related news, Ms. Mackey's doctor met his premature end at the hands of feral dogs early Saturday evening in East New York, Brooklyn."

Sunday, January 15, 2006

On Decadence

I just watched two episodes of entourage from tivo, and it got me thinking about what about the lives of the chacters is so appelaiong to me. Part of it is the fact that the show is well written, funny, and says generally meaningful things about the amoral world of Hollywood, Los Angeles, and SoCal. In the episode "My Maserati Does 185" (still can't quite believe the Eagles greatest hits sold more albums than led zeppelin) Eric cheats on his girlfriend and also finds out she has been cheating on him. Vince suggests that the four friends go to Vegas and "have a wild and decdent time."

I like having a wild a decdent time. I've thought back to some wild times I've enjoyed, when things got crazy because a little moola was being thrown around, sometimes by me (ha, like I have anything except for debt to throw around) but also sometimes by others. I think this is tied in to what I want to do with my life/what I need from a career, but I need to think on this more.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Dear Yahoo! Messenger

Please set my status to "I am currently being micromanaged. I have been in this status for 20 minutes. Call back when I give a shit."