Pants Dispenser

Don't steal home without it! Quotes

Thursday, June 30, 2005

More Teldar Paper News

Search for new corporate HQ for Teldar Paper enters high gear today. I'm on the move and now have a deadline.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Blue Horse Shoe Loves Teldar Paper

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Mad Cabby?

Cab Driver Chronicles. Interesting. It's AudioBlogging, by the way.

Just Unbelievable

See CNN article- Lions free kidnapped Girl. And not the Detroit Lions, mind you.

So, that's pretty amazing. But check this out: "The United Nations estimates that more than 70 percent of marriages in Ethiopia are by abduction, practiced in rural areas where the majority of the country's 71 million people live."

So, like, they don't even have speed dating.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Friday Night by the Numbers (or...this one goes to eleven)

Number of free shots of Chivas 12 yr at local liquor store: 5
Number of mL of J&B purchased: 1,000
Number of different fireworks launch positions observed: 3
Number of firecracker explosions heard: lost count at 56
Number of visits to Grandpa's Pizza before midnight: 1
Number of pizza places called at 1:00 am to get pizza delivered: 3, I think
Number of pizza places which hung up on us immediately: 2
Number of pizza places that hung up on us after we claimed we had ordered a pizza which never arrived: 1
Number of minutes we spent banging on the door of closed pizza place: at least 20
Number of minutes for cops to arrive: see above
Number of people the cops definitely didn't have time to deal with who were banging on the door of a pizza place at 2:00am: 2
Number of bars explored after "hitting" the pizza place: 2
Number of pint glasses purloined from bar: 1
Number of nasty (potentially prostitute) skanks MH tried to go off with from bar #2: 1
Number of minutes spent persuading MH of how bad an idea this would be: 5
Rank of next day's hangover, from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst: 11

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Food Fight

So, now that I've moved to a new place, in a mostly dominican/minority neighborhood, I'm finding all kinds of fun things. One thing I've never seen before is a grocery store where Chicken feet and pig knuckle are sold. And I don;t mean that you have to ask the butcher, I mean they are sold in the refrigerated meat/poultry section, in little styrofoam flats with plastic wrap on top of them. Egads.

Attention Punks on My Block

To the punks on my block who keep setting off fireworks: stop it, you little bastards. I am not a mean person, but I hate the idea that I'm going to have to call the cops on your little punk asses.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Why Crunch Mode Doesn't Work: 6 Lessons

In this article, the basis for why doing things at the last minute is not, in the long run, preferable to cosnsistent 40 hour work weeks. Someone please alert my boss to this fact. I've never met anyone who does as many things with too few people at the last minute as he.

As you read this, simply replace "game development business" with "my job"...except no one is studying us.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

To: desperate job seekers interested in careers in communications and media.

From: Pants Dispenser Operator
Subject: Available: Shitty job with fun people (except your boss)

Benefits: meager compensation package. Hourly wage will approach zero as you spend more time in the office. If we could pay you less, we would.

Work environment: distasteful (understatement)

Number of expected traumatic experiences: please do not ask me, because I don’t know how to write scientific notation in a blog.

Health benefits: actually, these are pretty good.

Responsibilities: everything. No seriously- all that goes wrong will be your fault. Even stuff that your predecessor failed to do or did poorly. Copy machine fixing, fax machine debugging, your boss’s wife’s laptop.

Monikers you will inevitably earn: walking information hemorrhage / bottleneck / research assistant / roadblock