Please Call for Assistance

Dear Diary,

I wish AH knew how to make photocopies properly instead of sending me into a shame spiral.

More tomorrow.

Truly yours,

Xerox DC 265 PS

The Official "Deal or No Deal" Drinking Game

You read it here first!

Set up:
Beer. There, you're done.

Preparation:
Each player, before beginning, must pick “evens” or “odds”.


1 Drink
The home state of the contestant is mentioned

Even Case picked –if you picked evens

Odd case is picked- if you picked odds

The banker’s offer is lower than his previous offer

The family/friends of the contestant shouts, “NO DEAL!”

Howie lies and says, “There’s a good chance” or “The odds are good”

One of the models holding a case speaks.

The contestant’s mother or father is on camera

The phone rings

2 drinks
The player rejects the banker’s buyout offer (NO DEAL)

Any case with more than $50,000 is opened.

3 drinks
The banker’s offer is larger than his previous offer

The $750,000 case is opened

4 drinks
The player accepts the banker’s offer (DEAL!)

Any member of the contestant’s entourage introduces himself as Aunt/Uncle [Firstname]

The $1,000,000 case is opened

Optional: Chug whenever the banker is talking or when Howie talks to the banker

iPod status

Screen seems to be working again. Thank the maker!

Was reminded this weekend of something else

This movie RULES.

Ice-T as a black man being literally hunted by some crazy white folks, headed up by Dr. Crazy himself, Gary Busey. Rutger Hauer and Charles Dutton are entertaining too. I edited, below, the IMDB plot summary for Surviving the Game (1994)

Mason, who lives on the streets, wants to cease his life when on the same day his two best friends die: His dog and an older man with whom he shared his food and roof. Just in time, Cole, from a charity organization, arrives and offers him a quite well paid job as servant for a hunting party in the Rocky Mountains. Mason accepts the job and flies with them to a chalet in the wilderness where they prepare everything for the four rich businessmen who want to hunt something "special." Mason eventually deduces that he is the quarry in question, and does what most of us would-a combination of running like hell and fighting back.

Bombardment!!!

What I did Friday:
Bombardment!

What I did Saturday:
Bombardment!

Plans for the week:
Bombardment!

No, seriously, it seems like last night was frickin crazy. Usually my nights out in the town are with 3-4 other people, with 8 people being "kind of a lot." we had, by my unofficial count, a total of about 18 with a peak at any given time of 14 or so.

Also, last night BLM's girlfriend kicked me in the balls. That was teh SUCK. And we made hockey jokes. And I wrote down some hilarious shit in my notebook- some good material in the making. Also, I am the king of analogies, specifically the Darth Vader analogy and the Castle analogy.

We had lots of laughs, and drank a hefty amount- note to self: for some reason, no amount of sugar seems to make bottled lime juice a suitable mixer. Next time we're using limeade concentrate, or whatever we used for the home-made margaritas a couple weeks ago. So, the list of things which taste bad/worse mixed with lime juice from a bottle:

1. Southern Comfort
   
2. Absolut Citron
   
3. cow manure
   
4. cadavers

BOMBARDMENT!

Peanut Butter Feder Time!!!!!

E!'s Talk Soup had this on right before the Academy Awards. Thanks, MHB, for making sure we watched every single Pre-Show.

But this was Awesome.

Weirdest SPAM subject line

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Nice try at a limerick, fellas.

The Simpson's My Fair Laddy Awesomeness

Totally nonsensical out of context quote alert: Bombardment! [episode recap via TVSquad]